


Called It

by cassidynoga



Series: stories told in fives [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Breakup, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a bit of angst, phil and the girl break up before the start, you never meet the female oc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 06:45:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12271050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassidynoga/pseuds/cassidynoga
Summary: A songfic loosely based on Amen by Eden's Edge!Or: Phil deals with a break up and Dan is there for him. Also, Katherine Lester knows what's up.Excerpt: But then Martyn called, and called again, and then again, about business things that normally went through Phil first purely based on the fact that Martyn was his brother. Dan found himself going with it at first but finally asking Martyn, not unkindly, why he was calling him.“Because I can’t hold my brother’s attention for longer than two minutes,” Martyn had said with an exasperated sigh. “Every time I call – if he even answers – I can hear her in the background talking about something else. To Phil, like he isn’t even on the phone. I can never get a solid answer from him and the last time I tried to go with something he said, he didn’t remember saying it at all. So now you get to decide if you want to do new shirts and backpacks or those plus water bottles.”





	Called It

1.

Sometimes, the world was a really small place. 

Dan was used to meeting people who knew him in various corners of the world. That was normal. What wasn’t normal was getting off the train in London with immediate plans to get something to relieve his headache and then go fall into bed, with as few things in between as possible, and get stopped by someone who looked vaguely familiar. And, okay, even that could be normal. What wasn’t normal was the look of concern on the girl’s face. 

“Is your friend alright?” She asked. Yeah, that was really weird. Dan blinked and actually looked around, because he didn’t think he had a friend with him, but truthfully, he hadn’t slept well in about a month so anything was possible at this point.

Realizing the miscommunication, the girl shook her head. “No, not here. The one you’re always with? Looks kind of like you?” She looked a little sheepish. “I don’t remember his name, but he was pretty upset over the whole thing and I haven’t seen him since. Either of you, actually.” 

Dan had come to the conclusion that this person was not a fan of his, but someone who actually knew him offline… and he had no idea who she was. He really needed coffee for this conversation, but coffee meant not sleeping and – 

 _Coffee._  

“You work at Starbucks!”

The girl looked stunned for a second and then laughed – loudly and openly, in a way that Dan admired instantly. “Yeah, sorry. I don’t know why I assumed you’d recognize me.” She didn’t even seem embarrassed. Dan admired her even more. 

“I’m running on a handful of hours of sleep,” Dan said, leaving out how that handful of hours was spread out over a considerable amount of time. “I do recognize you. I’m Dan. And, um, I’m guessing you mean Phil?” Dan felt himself tense up at the mention of his friend and tried to relax. This girl saw them frequently. Anything she was going to assume, she probably already had. 

“I’m Kristen, and yeah, Phil sounds right. Is he doing any better?” 

Dan hesitated. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he admitted after a minute. “I’ve been away for a week or so. And,” he paused again, “we haven’t really talked much in a while.” 

There. He’d said it. He had admitted to this almost-stranger that he hadn’t really spoken – or communicated at all – with his best friend in longer than normal. He didn’t go into the details, like how Phil barely said goodbye to him before Dan left to catch his train, or how Phil’s text thread was pretty far down in his phone for the first time in ages (because despite living together, they texted pretty regularly). And she hadn’t freaked out. Another sign that he wasn’t dealing with a crazy fan, which did wonders for his stress levels.

“Oh, dear.” She sighed. “So… you didn’t hear about his break up?” 

Dan blinked. “Wait, what?” 

Kristen scrunched her nose up. “It was a bit of a production. You two have been coming to the shop for, what, a couple years?” When Dan gave a half-nod, half-shrug, she shrugged and continued. “Well, anyway, I don’t think I’ve heard him raise his voice… or look angry… and well, I don’t blame him.” 

“Phil shouted at someone? In a Starbucks?”

Kristen laughed again. “Oh, yeah. I think that might be an understatement. That blonde girl, I guess she was his girlfriend?” She didn’t even wait for confirmation before going on. “Well, she started getting louder and by the time he raised his voice, we all knew that she was seeing someone else and leaving. It seemed like she was trying to get him to convince her to stay, but the poor dear just looked so blindsided that he didn’t know what to do besides freak out at her.”

Everything felt too loud, too fast. Dan realized that he was still standing in the middle of the train station, clutching his backpack with one hand and his suitcase with the other. Phil had shouted at his girlfriend – who was maybe now his ex-girlfriend? – and hadn’t called or texted him about it. What if Phil had done something rash? No, that was more Dan’s style… but still, he hadn’t heard from him… What if Phil was mad at him? He had never liked Phil’s girlfriend, but he tried to hide that from his roommate. Dan’s head was spinning and he realized all at once that he still had his headache from earlier. 

“I… I need to go, I think. I need to…”

Kristen smiled kindly. “I get it. Go check on him. And when you two come back, I’ll remember your names.”

Dan nodded distractedly. He wanted to say something, _thank you, I’m sorry, tell me more_ , but he just couldn’t. He stumbled towards the exit, somehow managing to get on the tube – a cab would have meant he was alone with his thoughts – and get off at the stop before his normal one, so he could stop at the drug store. 

2. 

Dan wasn’t destined to make it home easily. He had just paid for his medicine and stopped outside the store to open it and actually take one, hoping that it would kick in before he got home and actually maybe had to deal with something. After struggling with his bag to find his water and nearly spilling it on himself, he heard his name and groaned inwardly. He smiled, knowing it was fake and deciding to not care too much, and saw his next door neighbor walking up to him. 

“Dan, hello! I hadn’t realized you were back.” 

Dan coughed. “Oh, I’m just getting in. Straight from the station now, actually.” He didn’t remember telling her that he was going out of town, but maybe she had assumed. 

“Oh, well good. It’s been unnervingly quiet since that woman stormed out – and goodness, it’s about time, isn’t it? I’ve never been happier to see her and her tasteless tube tops leave – and then Phil dear said you were away… He looked so sad earlier. I suggested that he go meet you on your holiday, but he didn’t seem to find that a good plan.” The woman – Lisa, Dan’s brain supplied – shrugged and smiled. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re back. Hopefully things will go back to normal around the building.” 

And then she was gone. Dan found himself trying to catch his breath again. He wanted to ask when she had last talked to Phil, when she had seen him. Was he okay? What would Dan find at their flat? And most of all – what happened now? 

Phil had fallen hard for the girl. It happened so fast and Dan hadn’t seen it coming. It was normal one day and then the next, there was this person hanging around, moving their coffee cups, making the bathroom smell like flowers and coconut. She had a harsh laugh and threw sharp glares at Dan when he suggested something that him and Phil did normally, like watch an anime or record a gaming video. And Phil went along with her, caught up in some kind of spell that made him forget about his best friend, his career, his fans… 

And everyone noticed. And no one liked it. And Phil didn’t listen to anyone. 

At first, Dan thought he was being selfish. Jealous. He was just scared, he convinced himself, scared that she was going to push Dan out of Phil’s life. He went with that theory, that this was all in his head, that he was making a big deal out of something totally normal, right up until Phil’s mum called him. Talking to Katherine wasn’t abnormal for Dan; he probably talked to Phil’s mum more than he talked to his own mum, which wasn’t too infrequently in the first place. But Katherine calling Dan directly? That was rare and usually coincided with a family vacation or surprise for Phil. 

So when Dan heard from Katherine first, and Martyn later, about Phil’s new girlfriend, Dan considered that maybe he wasn’t overreacting. For as long as Dan had known Phil’s family, they had always been accepting of Phil’s friends. Maybe, Dan had considered briefly, they weren’t always accepting of his relationships. Maybe this was different. 

But then Martyn called, and called again, and then again, about business things that normally went through Phil first purely based on the fact that Martyn was his brother. Dan found himself going with it at first but finally asking Martyn, not unkindly, why he was calling _him_. 

“Because I can’t hold my brother’s attention for longer than two minutes,” Martyn had said with an exasperated sigh. “Every time I call – if he even answers – I can hear her in the background talking about something else. _To_ Phil, like he isn’t even on the phone. I can never get a solid answer from him and the last time I tried to go with something he said, he didn’t remember saying it at all. So now you get to decide if you want to do new shirts and backpacks or those plus water bottles.” 

And now, if Dan was to believe the two ladies from that afternoon, the girlfriend was gone. 

3. 

Dan unlocked the door to the flat slowly, quietly, and paused just inside the doorway after closing and relocking it. There weren’t any sounds coming from the lounge, so he moved forward, taking his suitcase with him because he wasn’t about to sneak around in his own home. In fact, he focused on not sneaking around, allowing his footsteps to be a normal sound and the suitcase to thump along when he came to the stairs. 

And still, nothing. Dan deposited his things in his bedroom, paused for just a moment, and went looking for Phil. He found him almost immediately; the older boy was in his bedroom, with the door halfway closed. Light off, in bed, total silence. Awake. 

In other words, not a great sign. Dan knocked at the door, positive that Phil had already heard him moving around. Sure enough, he didn’t jump at the sound, didn’t even look over. Phil just made a non-committal noise and Dan took it as invitation enough.  

“Hey,” Dan started, suddenly unsure of what to say. “I’m, uh, I’m home.” Phil didn’t respond, so Dan stayed standing awkwardly next to Phil’s bed. “Are you okay?” 

Finally, Phil looked at Dan. “When have you ever asked me that?” 

Dan raised his eyebrows. “I’ve definitely asked you that before, what are you talking about?” 

Phil studied Dan for a few moments and then went back to staring at the ceiling. “It felt different, this time.” 

“Well,” Dan said flatly. “That’s because it is different this time. I don’t know the answer.” 

“I think you do.” 

Dan bit his lip. “I have an idea. Are you going to tell me? Or are we just going to stay like this?” 

Phil swallowed hard. “If you know, why do I have to say it? Is this some kind of revenge for something I did ages ago that I’ve forgotten about now? Do I really have to spell it out? I don’t know how you heard but I can tell you did. She cheated on me. We fought. We broke up. There? Are you happy now? I’m not okay. Everything hurts, I’m sad, and what’s worse, literally everyone who knows has been _happy_ about it.” Phil paused, his face turning red and blotchy. “Do you know how much it hurts to have your friends be happy about something that causes you so much sadness? It just sucks. My own mum…” Phil shook his head and pressed his lips into a thin line. 

“Phil,” Dan started. “I’m… I’m not happy you’re hurting.” 

“But you’re happy it’s over.” It wasn’t a question. Dan hesitated. Phil noticed. The older boy shook his head and rolled over, so that his back was to Dan. “You can shut the door on your way out.” 

“Phil,” Dan tried again, not knowing where he was going to go with that but needing to fix this. 

“Not now, Dan. Just, go, okay? We’ll talk in the morning.” 

Dan found himself blinking back tears of his own, chest tight with emotion and hurt and sadness, and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him. His headache still lingered, so he followed Phil’s unintentional lead and crawled into bed. It wasn’t anywhere near when he would normally go to bed, but he was more than ready for this train wreck of a day to be over. Maybe, he thought as he drifted off to sleep, maybe this will all be better in the morning. 

4. 

Going to sleep at an unusually early hour means waking up at an unusually early hour. Dan woke up around four in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. By five, he gave up and moved to the lounge, stopping for a cup of tea and a throw blanket. He scrolled through tumblr for a while, but even that didn’t last. The thing about being known on the internet is that the internet is also where the fans are, which meant that tumblr was full of fan theories, art, and long speculation posts about him and Phil. Dan saw enough to realize that the internet didn’t know about Phil’s breakup… but to be fair, he wasn’t totally sure if the internet knew about the relationship in the first place. 

That was another thing that had always sat weird with Dan. Phil’s girlfriend didn’t want any part of the online world – or, at least in connection to Phil. It confused the hell out of him, quite frankly, because who in their right mind would date Phil and not want to brag about it to literally everyone and their dog. Dan would have, that’s for sure, but this girl? She shied away from selfies and videos and especially live shows, which, Dan realized all of a sudden, was probably why there had been so few of all three lately. She didn’t like them, so Phil didn’t do them. 

Dan blinked as his brain caught up with his thoughts. He had just admitted to himself that if _he_ were to date Phil, he’d want to brag about it. He had thought about dating Phil. That wasn’t something he had let himself think about for years. 

Dan closed his laptop in a daze and set it on the coffee table before sinking further into the couch. _And that’s why you always figured you were just jealous of her_ , the little voice in his head taunted. _You’ve always known it was about more than just friendship._

Dan sighed. It wasn’t the _only_ reason he hadn’t liked the girl. Seriously, how do you date someone whose career is based on the internet and _not want them to post on the internet?!_ Dan could understand not wanting to make the relationship a big deal for a while, while things could still end and be awkward with everyone watching… but if it lasted? Did she expect Phil to keep part of his life totally hidden forever? 

His train of thought was interrupted by none other than Phil himself. The older boy didn’t say anything right away, just walked in with two cups of tea and handed one to Dan. Dan took it, suddenly unsure of how to act – was this a peace offering? An accident? A habit that didn’t mean anything? – and Phil sat at the other end of the couch. Dan looked at his friend and waited. Phil sipped his tea, glasses fogging up from the steam. Dan sipped his tea. Silence. Waiting. And then – 

“You’re happy it’s over.” 

Dan blinked at Phil’s words, the same as last night, and hurried to swallow the mouthful of tea. “Phil, I – I’m…” Dan stuttered and stopped. Phil looked over at him, his expression blank. Dan took a deep breath and decided to tell the truth, without sugar coating it too much and without giving up. “Yeah, I’m glad its over. I really am sorry that you’re hurting. I’m not sorry to see her go.” 

“How does that make sense?” Phil asked, still emotionless but staring at his mug now. “How can you be happy she’s gone when her being gone makes me sad? How can you say that you’re sorry I’m hurting when you’re happy for the reason behind the hurt? How can you be my best friend and still think that?” 

“Because I actually care about you,” Dan spat, before he could stop himself. “Because she was awful for you, and you somehow didn’t see it. You act like you’ve been so happy the past couple months that you two were dating, but you weren’t. You tiptoed around her, compromising the things you like to do so that she didn’t get annoyed. You made one video the entire time, and that’s when she was away on holiday with her friends. You did a couple half-assed live shows, all shorter than usual. We didn’t record any new gaming videos, and all the ones we had prerecorded are posted and you didn’t interact with the viewers at all about them. No emojis, no weird tweets, no silly Instagram posts. I wrote the last two newsletters by myself. Martyn’s been calling me for direction on the shop, because he couldn’t get straight answers from you. And that’s all just business stuff. We haven’t had a proper game night, movie night, anime breakfast… anything, in ages. The last four texts I have from you are weeks old and one word answers. Two of them were actually wrong answers, so we had like eight boxes of cereal at one point and no coffee in the entire house. You have new clothes and I don’t know when you got any of them, you don’t wear mine anymore – even the ones that have lived in your closet for over a year – because she didn’t like them. I don’t know what you think about the newest shows that we planned to watch together, because you never had time to watch them. I don’t know what new games you’re playing on your phone. And I found out about your breakup from the barista from Starbucks at the train station yesterday.” Dan took a deep breath. “So I’m happy that it’s over, that she’s gone, because I want you back. I want my best friend back. But even still, I’m sad that you’re sad. I never want you to be sad. I just don’t want you to be some vacant, mindless shell of who you were, either. And I think everyone else felt the same way, to a degree. When’s the last time you talked to your mum? Because I spoke to her three days ago. I guess she needed someone to call and talk to because she couldn’t catch you. And when I ran into Kristen the barista at the train station, and she said you were upset and yelled and I hadn’t heard from you? I wondered what you had done. What I’d find when I got back here. I wondered if you had become too much like me, because you weren’t you anymore and I didn’t know what to expect with the new version of you that she created.” 

And then Dan finally shut his mouth. Just stopped talking and looked at Phil, who was still staring at his lap. Dan didn’t say anything more; they just sat there in total silence for several long minutes. Dan’s mind raced initially, wondering if that was too harsh, if he had just pushed his best friend away for good. Then, he wondered if he said enough. Should he have said something about his feelings, in the rush of everything else? No, he ultimately decided, because that could taint the entire thing with jealousy as a reasoning. But then, he had nothing left to think. His cards were mostly on the table and there were only a few things left that could make things worse at this point, so it’s not like he had a whole lot to lose. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Phil asked, finally looking up. “If you hated her so much, if _everyone_ hated her so much… why did no one tell me?” 

It took everything in him to not scoff or roll his eyes. His best friend was hurting still, so Dan just closed his eyes for a second to compose himself. “Phil, we couldn’t. You were so wrapped up in her, no one could get through to you.” It felt like an excuse, but it wasn’t. “And I tried. At the beginning, when she didn’t want you to spend an hour on a gaming video, I tried to joke about it.” Dan looked down at his hands. “But you didn’t get it. You didn’t catch on, and then she came back into the room and I dropped it… and then you two left, for dinner or the cinema or something, and I made a video for my own channel instead. Tweeted about having an issue with the sound and that the gaming video would have to wait. You didn’t even retweet it. It’s like it didn’t even exist anymore to you. Like I didn’t even exist.” 

Phil’s face crumpled. “How did I not see that? How…” And then he was crying, and Dan felt his heart break. He did the only thing that he could think of, hesitating only to put his and Phil’s mugs on the coffee table, and pulled his friend into his arms. Phil responded, curling into Dan’s chest and sobbing into his shirt. Dan let him, just wrapped his arms around his friend and let him cry. And Dan let him stay there, long after the tears had stopped and long after what remained of their tea had gone cold. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. 

5. 

Months went by before things went back to normal totally. A gaming channel video came first, a week or so after the breakup, because Phil didn’t have to be the focus of it but it was a place to start. 

Phil called his mum and actually talked to her, eventually handing the phone to Dan like normal, and he listened to Katherine go on and on for a few minutes about how glad she was that it was all over. When Dan hung up, he looked at Phil and knew that it wasn’t all over, but it was getting there. 

They did a baking video next, for Phil’s channel, and then Dan had Phil help him with a sketch. They met up with Martyn to talk about the next release for the shop, and no one commented on Phil’s surprise at them having Dan and Phil water bottles for sale now. 

Louise called, and they met her for dinner, and then they met up with PJ and Sophie for a trip to a new game shop in London, and then they started a new anime series with their morning cereal. Every now and again, Dan would catch Phil looking at his phone with a blank look on his face and knew that he was looking at either texts or photos that should have been deleted long ago. 

And then one day, Phil walked up to Dan and handed over his cell phone. 

“Look,” the older boy said. “Look through my texts.” 

“Uh?” Dan said, taking the phone and eying it warily. 

“Just do it.” 

So Dan did, scrolling through the chats – his, Katherine’s, Martyn’s. Louise, PJ, friends from uni and Manchester and home – and then he realized. The girl was gone. Dan looked up at Phil, to find his friend biting his lip and looking simultaneously nervous and proud. 

“You deleted it.” 

“I deleted it,” Phil said. “It seemed about time.” 

“I’m proud of you,” Dan said, handing the phone back and pulling Phil into a hug. 

“Thank you,” Phil mumbled into his shirt. “Thank you for everything.” 

Months went by again, with life back to normal. They planned a holiday with friends, and then another just the two of them. They took selfies with fans that they posted and selfies with each other that they didn’t. They texted from different rooms in the house and made dinners and waited for the other to wake up before eating breakfast. 

And when Katherine called Phil and asked him to come visit for her birthday, he agreed without hesitation. When he asked if Dan could come along, she told him he was silly for considering it was anything but expected. And when Phil told Dan, Dan barely glanced up from his computer to acknowledge the plans, but Phil caught the smile that spread across Dan’s face, and that was confirmation enough. 

So they traveled to Phil’s parents house, waking up early to take a morning train, with Phil antsy about running late and Dan forgetting at least two things that he knew of by the time they boarded. Katherine met them at the door with hugs and smiles, and passed them along to the rest of the family in the sitting room. Dan was used to the hugs and hellos from Phil’s family by now, but this time, he thought he saw Katherine share a look with her husband as Dan bent over to hug Phil’s grandma as she told him that he certainly needed to eat more, both boys did. Dan didn’t say a word to Phil about it, just smiled and talked and interacted with Phil’s family as though they were his own, and when Katherine sent them to bed without apologizing that they would be sharing a bed, Dan wondered if Katherine knew all along. 

He got his answer the next morning. Phil had woken up before him, so after using the bathroom and brushing his teeth, Dan went in search of Phil or coffee, whichever he could find first. As he made his way down the stairs, Dan heard Phil’s mum laugh lightly. 

“You love him, don’t you?” 

Dan froze in place for a minute, held his breath, and waited. He needn’t have worried. 

“Of course I do. You’ve known that, though, haven’t you?” Phil’s answer was steady, sure, without concern. Dan felt himself breathe again and continued down the stairs. 

“I have, probably since before you did.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Phil asked as Dan got nearer. 

“I didn’t want to pressure you. You needed to realize it for yourself.”

“I realized it. I just wish I had realized it sooner. Would have saved me a lot of trouble.” It didn’t sound sad, exactly, just a little disappointed.

“That’s in the past,” his mum said airily. “It’s now that matters. And he loves you, too.”

There was a pause, and Dan hesitated at the foot of the staircase. When he spoke again, Phil sounded unsure of himself. “Does he?” 

Dan took a deep breath and rounded the corner into the dining room. Katherine smiled, warm and real, and Dan stopped next to Phil’s chair. “He does.” 

Phil jumped at his words, but looked up at Dan, searching. Dan gave him a small smile and Phil stood up to hug him. It wasn’t like any hug they’d had before, except it was familiar in that it was Phil. Phil’s scent, Phil’s arms, Phil being slightly shorter than him. Except one of Phil’s arms was wrapped around Dan’s waist and the other was running up and down his back, like he couldn’t quite believe that this was really happening and needing physical contact to prove it to himself. Dan, for his part, curled his arms around Phil like he always had and hugged him close, aware and uncaring that Katherine was sitting just on the other side of the table, sipping her coffee and grinning at them with bright eyes knowing that from the beginning, she had called it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Suggestions? Hi.


End file.
